sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
