She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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