Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We have started to decorate penises.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
