I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
