Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
