I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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