Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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