isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
