you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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