As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
