Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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