No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize