watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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