sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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