I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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