This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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