i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
