I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
