ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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