ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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