Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The Olympian is in my bed
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
