dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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