Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
