I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Found the puke drawer
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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