he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there was a trapeze. enough said
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Randomize
