Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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