Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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