No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
