Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So vagazzling was a success
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize