So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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