The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize