farters have to be the big spoon...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
