They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i've created a new STD.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
