I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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