Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
