So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
