Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you never un-have a 4some
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
