I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize