Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I love you.
Bad choice
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
