Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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