I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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