i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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