We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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