adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize