dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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