I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
