You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
