I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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