Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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