It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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