The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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