I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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