I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
