I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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