If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
