her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
