I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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