We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
