I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
