That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
