too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
