I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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