HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
