Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
