is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
