my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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