So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
