I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
