Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
